Rebel Red
by starry-eyes184
Summary: In an act of rebellion, Emily decides to dye her hair for the very first time. Naturally, Katie ruins it. It looks better on her anyway.


Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.

A/N: Once again, still frustrated trying to write my Panda/JJ fic, and this is what came out instead. I don't usually do Emily because I connect more with Katie as she's my favorite character. But I do feel bad for her sometimes, so this was written out of that. Pretty basic exploration of Emily's need to break free of her twin image. Set in middle school.

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Rebel Red

_Scarlet Fire_, the box reads.

It's a tacky name, really, but that doesn't matter much to Emily. She isn't too fussed about labels. This is the one, for sure. The red on the cover picture is so brilliant. The model's silky strands of hair shine, catch the eye easily in the deep, distinctive shade of red the dye promises to the customer. It's _different_. It's not natural, but not that silly-looking blood red some of the goth girls at her middle school have started wearing lately, which would have been all wrong for Emily.

But this red, it's perfect. It's so utterly unique.

She picks the box off the shelf, and turns it over, meticulously going over the instructions and the warnings.

Permanent, it says.

Emily pays in cash (her allowance), and slips the box into her over-sized bag, smiling at the cashier. He looks a little unsure about selling hair dye to a thirteen year old, but the small brunette assures him she's got her mother's permission. Of course, she doesn't. Jenna Fitch would probably have an absolute fit if she knew what Emily's been planning for the last few weeks. Emily doesn't care what her mum thinks, though, she's going to dye her hair red with or without permission, because it's something she _wants_ and for once, for one fucking time in her life, Emily Fitch would have what she wanted.

She hides it underneath the bathroom sink.

It's sitting there, behind the toilet paper and all Katie's silly bath salts and her makeup bag. Emily was sure to keep it to the left, away from the right side, where Katie liked to hide the cigarettes she'd started to smoke occasionally, taped up behind the piping so their mum wouldn't find them. She doesn't tell her sister, because this is supposed to be as much of a shock to her as it's going to be to the rest of the world.

The twins aren't as close as they all assume, and Emily's the only one who seems to know this. She's the only one who really knows how deeply different they are on the inside, even if they're so perfectly matched physically. They all expect them both to have the same thoughts, the same feelings, the same wants. Even their own parents call them _the twins_, instead of by their own names. _The_ _twins_ like this, _the twins_ do that. It's always the two of them. Sometimes Emily feels so suffocated by it all. She's never allowed to just be alone, to be herself, without Katie, without being someone's twin, their duplicate, their perfect match.

But Emily isn't _Katie_, and Katie isn't _Emily_.

Emily thinks it's about time the world started to notice they were two separate people. She's hoping that if she makes them all see how different they can be on the outside maybe they'll start to notice the differences on the inside, too. Emily will be the one with the red hair. She'll be the smart twin, the sweet twin, the _different_ twin. She'll be the one that stands out in a crowd, the one that isn't afraid to be her own person. The one that doesn't stand in her sister's shadow, two steps behind, subservient and being stomped all over by her dominant sister. Things will be better when she's a redhead, when she declares her differentness, because she'll be able to stand on her own, finally.

She could have dyed it the night she'd come home, but Emily's waiting. She wants to find the perfect moment to do it, when no one's around to bother her- or stop her, for that matter.

It's important, after all, _so_ important. This little red box, it's more than just dye. It's _freedom_.

Independence, separation, confidence.

It's all these things, wrapped up in one neat little package.

She finally finds the perfect night. It's a Friday, and her parents are going to play cards with their friends down the street after dinner. James is too little to stay at home alone, so they're taking him along, and Katie's friend promised to go with her to see a film. Well, that's what she's told their parents, but Emily knows she's going with her boyfriend, and that they're going to sneak in stolen liquor and make out in the back corner. (She won't tell, though. She never tells on Katie.)

They're eating dinner (meatloaf and mashed potatoes) and all Emily can think about is how excited she is. How they'll all sit up and take notice. How people at school will notice. Maybe she'll finally catch the attention of someone cute and have a boyfriend. That thought leaves her with only hollow, false excitement, but Emily tries not to wonder why. She crosses and uncrosses her legs at the dining room table, fidgeting, eager for the meal to be over. The food all passes her lips without taste, and she's watching the clock out of the corner of her eye the entire time.

When her mother asks her to clear the table, Emily doesn't put up a fight. Of course, she never does, but tonight in particular, she _really_ doesn't mind, even if Katie's allowed to leave the table early to get ready for her night out, without doing any chores. It doesn't bother her one bit that she's stuck doing the work, because in a few hours, after Katie's back, things will change. Her parents leave first, James trailing after them, as Emily's up to her elbows in dishwater. She scrubs slowly, getting out the greasy spots. Katie is taking an exceptionally long time primping for her date.

When Emily hears her sister breeze out the door, heels clacking and the door slamming in her wake, she leaves the rest of the dishes undone and soaking in the sink.

She nearly trips over her own feet on the stairs in her excitement, running up and into the bathroom she shared with Katie. Emily goes straight for the box, pushing past all the other junk inside the cabinet. She digs, pushing over rolls of toilet paper, accidentally unfastening Katie's secret cigarettes from their perch on the pipes, and spilling all her sister's make up. Tubes of lipstick go rolling out, glitter bottles and turquoise eyeshadows tumble onto the tiled floor, but Emily can't find her box.

She's getting nervous.

Emily pulls it all out onto the bathroom's floor, kicking it across to make room as she empties the cabinet completely. She digs and pulls until there's nothing left but the pipes, and when that's all there is, she sticks her still-brunette head into the wooden space and twists all around, desperately.

Of course, there's nothing there. Her Scarlet Fire is gone.

Emily leans back, her head still in the dark cabinet, and closes her eyes. Tears slip out, even though she tries to stop them, because it's so stupid to get worked up over something so small.

It was just hair dye.

But it _wasn't_ just hair dye, not really. It had been all her hopes for a new kind of life, a chance at being her own person. Now it was nothing, because her mum had found it cleaning and thrown it out, or James had taken it, or something else had happened. Whatever it was, it was gone, and the world had kicked Emily down again, forced her into staying the same, like always. She sits up, and collects all the mess, stacking the rolls of paper back where they belonged, chasing after all Katie's things on her stocking-covered knees, fitting them neatly in their bag. Emily re-taped the cigarettes on the piping, and pulled herself up, gripping the sink.

When she looks up, Emily can see her reflection. She sees the exact same face as Katie wears. Maybe the chin is a little more pointed, the nose a little more turned up. The eyes are the same shape, though, and so are the planes and bones underneath the pale skin. The birthmark is on the other side, but the hair framing the face is the exact same color, the same neutral brown. Next to her face, in the mirror, Emily can see the reflection that might have been.

It's right next to her own face, only with a confident smile. The image has the fiery red hair, the brilliant shine, and a bow neatly tucked on the side. Emily locks eyes with the image. It smiles, confidently, one side of the mouth turning upwards, the eyes glittering with poise, coolness, and a little impishness- all the things Emily had expected to come out of that little box of red dye.

"Fucking badass, yeah?"

"Katie?" Emily asks, spinning around. The image is, in fact, her sister, and she's very much standing behind Emily with Scarlet Fire colored hair, her hip out to the side (in Emily's dress), and a self-satisfied look on her face.

"This color looks fantastic on me," Katie pushes her sister aside to get to the mirror, fluffing her hair, untangling a knot in the front.

She feels like her organs are ripping apart. Like they're being torn up and it's all spilling out into the empty cavities. It's there, she feels it, but it's on the inside, where no one sees, where no one will notice but her. In her whole life, Emily Fitch has made a total of one attempt to break away from being a twin. One try to get away from being together, one try to stand out, to be herself and to show the world, and it's just been shot all to hell by the very reason she's been dying to get free.

As expected, Katie is oblivious to what she's done.

"My date's downstairs. The movie fucking sucked. We're going to a party instead. They've got all the best pills, MDMA, fit boys. I told him we had to come back to get you," Katie says, like she'd just done Emily some kind of favor. "Get dressed, you can't go like _that_. Put something decent on and let's go."

"But Katie, that was _my_ dye. You fucking took it without asking! I was going to _use_ that," Emily says, following Katie into their bedroom.

Katie's halfway in their closet, picking through Emily's clothes without her permission, scrutinizing each outfit. She ignores Emily, and tosses something onto the bed.

"Katie!" Emily tries, grabbing onto her arm tightly.

Her twin brushes her off, rolling her eyes a little. "I'm sorry, or whatever, it was just sitting there. How long were you going to leave it? You weren't really going to use it, Ems. You know you would never do something so impulsive. Besides," Katie says, handing Emily one of her tighter, low cut tops. "It looks better on me, anyway."

Emily stiffly accepts the dress, standing frozen as Katie touches up her eyeliner. She slowly undresses before pulling the collar of the dress over her head. Inside, she's still torn up. She's angry and she's frustrated and sad, but she can't bring herself to say no, to tell Katie to fuck off and stop trying to take everything away from her, to stop running her life. Emily just goes along with it, like usual, leaving it all to simmer under the surface.

She goes to the party, like Katie wants her to, and she stands against the wall, like Katie expects her to.

Everyone loves Katie's hair, of course.

All their friends, all the boys, even the next morning, their fucking parents think it's lovely and impulsive and it makes her seem special. At school, people stare as Katie enters a room, they follow her down the hall with their eyes, and Emily can barely keep her head up as she walks two steps behind, trying not to cry.

When they get home, Katie throws something at Emily from her bed. It's a box of Scarlet Fire red hair dye.

"Here, I'm sorry, Ems, I bought this for you. I promise I'll stop taking your stuff," Katie says, looking at her from across the room. "We'll both be redheads. We can be the same, like always."

She helps her with the dye, going into the bathroom and doing it over the very sink where Emily had hidden her precious box before Katie had stolen it. Her twin carefully helps her dry her hair after the dye has set, running a brush through the damp locks with the drier on high. The dark, damp burgundy starts to brighten as the water leaves it, and in the mirror, Emily watches her formerly brown hair turn the same shiny scarlet she'd so desperately wanted.

It's the exact hue of Katie's hair in the mirror's reflection.

Emily sighs, and resigns herself. Her shoulders slump downward as she takes in her new, brilliantly red hair.

"The same, like always," she murmurs to herself.

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A/N: There it is! Hope you enjoyed it and found it semi-realistic. Reviews are always, always appreciated!


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